Believing in yourself

I always think that believing in yourself is like the good old British weather. Some days you’re taking the rain and the hails with aplomb and on other occasions you’re left a little sorry faced and sunburnt, but, you can still acknowledge that you had a ruddy good time. So for me, I always believe in myself but inevitably there are highs and lows that I go through. It’s funny though because the low times don’t correspond with a lack of confidence. What have I found about myself when in difficulty? I have observed that that’s when I have the biggest belief in myself. Don’t get me wrong! I have lost inspiration and been at a loss for ideas at times, however, that is most definitely not the same as losing self belief.

As I’ve grown older and situations in life have come about, basically I’m now pretty much always the underdog (in my opinion) and that’s a good thing for me. It keeps me hungry. It keeps me motivated. It makes me want to push through difficult situations to see what I’m truly made of. Stormy rain with thunder or thirty degree Celsius heat in humid heavy air? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter one bit. I am the underdog. I’m the one that people don’t see coming. I’m the one that they overlook. I’m the one that they take notice of for about only a second yet they don’t take away even ten percent of what I’m about in that second! So much more to offer. So ready to do it as well.

How to believe in yourself? How do I?

For me, I like sports. I like the competitive environment. The drama. The uncertainty. The fact that you can lose by a margin excites me. The fact that you can grab a win with a second to go almost puts me through a placebo effect of an adrenaline rush! That’s just with the thought of it. It’s true though isn’t it?! If you can lose by the teeniest margin then of course that means that you can also win by the smallest of margins!

I’m a big football fan and my beloved Man Utd have been notorious for scraping wins in stoppage time and even though they are a huge commercial club with a fantastic footballing history, there have been times when they have too been the underdogs or been portrayed with a 50-50 chance before (and during) games. The winning mentality and belief to push on to the end is definitely something I learned as a kid watching Sir Alex Ferguson on the touchline, ranting and raving, euphorically celebrating after a 93rd minute winner and on the reverse being bitterly disappointed with defeats or wins that became draws due to lack of concentration. It was his constant belief and mantra. You’d often hear him talk post match saying that you never know what chances might become available if you just don’t give up. The team were always told pre-match right the way through to the final whistle to keep going to the end and something will open up. It might not get you the win but you can salvage something even if it is just your pride but more often than not, it was a victory. I miss the good ol’ days….

In my case it’s probably mostly a learned behaviour. Something that I’ve reinforced in my mentality from my childhood and I still do so today. I watched others believe in themselves and succeed and sorry to be cliche but it inspired me. It set off alarm bells in my head. In fact I’ve allocated a corner of my mind with a box waiting to be filled with more successes, wins and joyous memories. Although, maybe I’m being unfair to myself as I have a very natural appetite to want to be great and make others great too. I always think that if I can acquire success with a group of people then that is a success upon successes, sweetness upon many sweet moments and a blessing upon a plethora of blessings. Having great moments and successes with people that you care about is one way that selfish self belief can ultimately become selfless. That’s the reward and a bigger reward than any ego can ever provide. I can promise you that!

Self belief requires sacrifice

Believing in yourself doesn’t come without heartache and misgivings. Believe me it does! You can have confidence and get schooled. Absolutely get schooled from A to Z! This could be in a debate, in a sporting activity or in a cake bake-off. This could be in anything and believe me, with that great belief comes many a slice of humble pie and disappointments. When you believe in yourself and things don’t quite go right? That’s when you find out how strong that self assurance and commitment is because you are most definitely going to feel disheartened, hurt and despondent. I always tell myself that at the end of the day I’m not carrying that confidence to boast or to hold myself like I’m a monarch amongst people. I’m just like everyone else. I have a heart, a set of lungs and I have feelings that get hurt. I don’t deserve to win all the time and it’s good to be humbled because those humblings will make you. The reason that I hold that belief is to give myself a better chance going into situations where I need to get something done or I need an outcome in my favour. Say I wanna play a few sets of tennis….There’s no point walking onto a tennis court with a racquet in your hand knowing that you’re going to get done by a backhand down the line. Your opponent has a whip of a backhand, so what?! Instead you use your thinking cap as you also know that your opponent can’t volley so you throw in a few drop shots here and there. After you’ve seen your opponent struggle with the drop shots you might notice a lack of speed. If you can’t outwit your opponent with skill then do it with smarts. Self belief is something that can rise and fall. Actually, on many an occasion I’ve found myself raising in self belief mid-situation. It’s a funny old thing!

Be smart.

The reason that I’m writing this is because insecurities and lack of confidence is something that’s running through the veins of society. It’s something that I’ve noticed in millennials and the youth of today. There’s a lot of bravado and people acting but deep down people are struggling. I don’t think that many people believe, it’s sad to see. Ultimately, to go places I do think you need a slice of lady luck but you certainly won’t get it unless you’re proactive in some sense. Be in the right places. Do the right things. Follow the rules. Be respectful. Believe in yourself!!! Watch the fruits of your labour. Be happy, come what may, may what comes your way make you happy .

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