You either understand that I don’t think within the ‘normal distribution’ or you can’t be bothered to. I like to think about things a certain way and approach undertaking tasks in a way that can sometimes bamboozle others. I’ll reach the end goal just as quickly (or perhaps even faster), and people just choose to accept that it’s what she does rather than try to understand the alternatives in method. I try to look at undertaking a task from a multitude of angles, those that are comfortable within my mental capacity and habitual traits, as well as those that bamboozle me. Ultimately, learning to approach things in a new way helps connect dots in your mind and makes working a healthier environment. Let’s face it we all want to get things as quickly as possible and go home to our families, our hobbies and to dinner O’clock so if you know how to get out of a tough spot, finish a task or solve a problem even quicker then who’s going to argue with you? Nobody.
I like doing things in some sort of pattern. The pattern may not always be obvious though. Sometimes I’ll follow things in a certain numerical order or alphabetically, and the one that really drives people to think I’m strange is when I follow a certain shape. For example, I might approach a task in a circular manner or by doing things in reverse order or in an order that doesn’t make sense to them. In essence I’m just rewriting the instructions in my head and I ensure that the end goal is the same. I like to individualise the things that I do. It bugs people and because it bugs them, it bugs me that me trying to do things in a different way bugs them! Look, I don’t lose any sleep over it and nor did I sit here making a list but as far as I can tell it’s true. I’m human enough to know that we all overthink and analyse things from head to toe. Sometimes we overthink ourselves into a fatigued mind, body and way of living. Now, I don’t want to do that but is it so wrong that I don’t always want to follow convention?
Is being different heralded or a hinderance?
I know that I’ve basically said that I’m quite different and this is going to sound like such a contradiction but… I’m different in some aspects but I’m still human. I rely on the same air, the same human rights and a billion other similarities to function as a human being.
Making Friends and Keeping them
Making friends and keeping them for me is like me making strawberry cheesecake and expecting it still to be there in three days.
Make (or buy) the cheesecake and put it in the fridge for tomorrow
Have a slice after dinner. Assume that that will be that. No, convince myself to have another slice which is bigger than the first one.
Open the fridge and it’s staring at me so I eat the whole damn thing even though it makes me feel bloated and nauseous afterwards. The thirty seconds of the sugar, the creaminess and the indulgence were probable worth it though! Or were they? Depends how bloated I feel.
Now I’m not saying that I put my fiends in the refrigerator (as fun as that would be) but I have a very small circle of friends. I’m grateful for the friends that I do have but it does make me question a few things:
- Am I a bad friend?
- Do I have a bad trait or an attitude that wants people to keep me at a distance?
- Am I just too much?
- Maybe I’m just not deserving of them?
- Maybe my insecurities are VERY obvious (but I don’t think this one is very true)
Don’t be confused
Look, at the end of the day, I am a work in progress. I like laughing, joking, talking, writing, winning and a whole load of other things. I might be at a stumbling block right now but at some point I won’t be the one stumbling and then people can hate if they want to. They can hate now to be honest. I have better things to do. Bigger dreams to chase. Larger fridge to fry and all that jazz.
Always keep it pushing and always be kind.