Goodbye Summer of 2018
Taking a brief look at my summer, it was a great summer overall. I went away for a while. I spent time with friends. I laughed. I talked. I cried. I learned. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my summer! It was the best summer in maybe five years and that’s something I am super grateful for. It was necessary and I didn’t do anything too spectacular but what I did do was give myself a chance to just exist, to exist happily. The summer of 2018 was a solid summer.
Waltzing out of July was me working on my own terms and it was great. I was the one in control and it gave me a chance to look at things from a birds-eye view because I wasn’t thinking about things from within an environment but instead from above. This gave me a buzz that led to me samba my way into August quite happily.
As far as August is concerned, it has surely been an interesting month. There’s been a few niggles and annoyances. I’ve had a suspected muscle pain for a while and eventually I did go to see a medical practitioner who told me it was most likely just muscle related and should heal in six to eight weeks. It did however worsen to the point I actually left a commitment the Friday before last and went to A&E. There was some initial concern from the triage nurse but thankfully all is well and I am feeling much better now. Due to this I ended up staying at home a lot and didn’t enjoy it. I like working, being active and at least feeling like I’m contributing to society in some sort of positive way. At the same time, everything is a character building situation and that is the way I have looked at things since I was sixteen. It’s treated me well thus far so I won’t change my stance on that.
My initial thought process was to try to get through August and clear things up. I wanted to get my life in order. It is still a work in progress. Although progress is better than a stagnant situation. As long as I’m moving forward and making strides in the right direction, I shan’t complain. Or at least not aloud.
The thought that I struggle with is the idea of effort and consistency as a combination. I don’t have an issue putting an effort in on the daily but I am disappointed with my recent writing. The consistency in quality is lacking. I was initially trying to figure out why? Now, I’m looking for a way past why and more into how I can fix this?! I don’t want to use anything (valid or not)as an excuse. I’m quite simply disappointed. I’m disappointed in the fact that I am not providing quality, creativity and written content in the way that I know I can. I suppose the one thing that’s in my favour is that I’ve kept writing even though I feel like it’s below par. I may return to that writing on another day and find something within it that could actually inspire me to write my take on something else. I’m a strong believer that effort in the easier and more difficult times will always bare fruits some day somehow. Call it my naive hopefulness or sheer positive faith? I’ll leave that up to you.
Write through the bad periods
I’m just going to push through and keep writing until I find some quality somewhere and somehow, maybe from something or someone but I know it’s just a matter of time. I do rely on myself, my humour and my observational skills to write so perhaps I’ve just lost a bit of confidence. Although I don’t want to fester thinking about that as festering won’t necessarily lead to a solution. It may even discourage me so I think I’ll leave that approach!
Kick the habit
There is one thing I really should stop doing and that is throwing away bits of writing. I don’t mean the odd paragraph but sometimes I spend an hour or two writing something and then discard it by deleting it or if it’s hand written, by losing it. Only earlier on I said that every piece of writing has something to be taken away from it but I blame this on my temperament on bad days. I don’t have them very often but who knows what I could have made from all the writing I have discarded?! Probably a best selling book. Well you never know?!
Okay so we are effectively past the middle of the year and I don’t really like resolutions but I do like the idea of targets and ambition. So my targets are:
- keep writing even when I feel like it’s a load of garbage because there’ll be some quality in the trash
- Play basketball and tennis because I enjoy it but also as a great way to keep fit
- Cook more because I do love cooking and it annoys me that I don’t do it as often as I would like to
- Grow my financial income and be able to have financial freedom
- Be more disciplined with my eating, exercise, life decisions and faith in myself (in the sense that I don’t lose it)
The rest I’ll work out along the way because that’s the way life goes. You learn from your mistakes. The list above is what I’ve learned I need to do/change in order to better myself as a writer, an individual and a human in society.
If all else fails I have an idea that maybe I’ll become a stand up comedian and I’ll earn my crust telling awfully funny jokes… but I’ll give this a bash for a while before I go and give up.