Sometimes the biggest effort you put in with the biggest hope is the one that punches you in the face the most. Think of the old Batman with punches and slaps being displayed in coloured banners across the screen. In those difficult times it can feel like a “whack” straight after a “pow” before you get “zapped” and eventually hit a bunch of obstacles crashing to the ground with a “kaboom.” The thing that kicks the most is that in this instance you weren’t even the bad guy. I mean… it sucks, right?
When times do get rough the question is what are you going to do? In my opinion and probably the most common opinion, you either let it knock the stuffing out of you or you get back up. I have a natural instinct to punch back. It’s the way I am and I think that mind-set makes it easier for me to combat the losses. At certain times the getting back up is much harder than usual but you have to instil that mentality within yourself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if it’s not natural to you, nurture it into your attitude. I’m not naturally good in social situations but I have learned to be better. What you have naturally gifted to you may not resonate with me and I might struggle with that concept, and the same the other way round.
Personally I reckon I am good at bouncing back but just to see if that is REALLY the case I’m going back in my history book on a self-reflective journey. I’m trying to filter out which of my (many) learning curves have actually TAUGHT me a lesson that I remember. Here’s the thing…. there’s no doubt that the biggest fails have taught the biggest lessons and there’s no getting away from it. The times where tears have flown like a river (think a five year old dropping an ice lolly) or when I’ve sworn out of frustration (sorry mother it happens) or the odd time I’ve walked away disconsolate (like when you realise you now have to pay for dental care), these are no doubt the biggest lessons I have learned. At the time they broke my heart but in the long-term they have made me. I’m not saying that they’ve made me tougher or stronger or wiser or smarter but they have MADE me.
I am who I am as a whole because of all of those failed challenges professionally and personally. If I’m brutally honest right at this moment I am thinking about an idea I have had for a while and it’s not going anywhere! I’m still motivated even though it’s not where I want it to be. I’ve had a tonne of disappointments with this particular idea but I believe in it because of the small wins I have had. They are inconsistent at the moment but I’m not giving up when I can see the bigger picture. I may take another dozen hits but I know it’ll work out with a bit more focus and determination. I have to filter out the negativities and I have to maintain focus. I have to become somewhat invisible in my primary phase where I research and keep an eye on things, before I come out for the secondary phase where I hit the ground running putting things into live action.
Considering the title and what I have just said, it may seem like I am setting myself up for a big fall and a big fail, a five star one even. However, some of my fails have lead to my biggest achievements in the end. It’s a game of patience, is success. Every now and again you do get lucky, perhaps overnight success may come about but I’m not holding out for my plans to hit fruition tomorrow but I’m holding out for one of these days!
I often find that people don’t understand why I keep poking at the same old dreams I have had since I was old enough to understand that dreams are concepts you chase as well as those visions you have at night! I want success and I want to be happy about the work that I do so when I lay my head to my pillow at night, it feels like I earned my rest.
The thing is I am dealing with people who fear dreaming because their dreams have flat out crashed or slowly crumbled before their eyes, in their palms, out of sight or in whatever way you wish to put it. I don’t see why my positive approach to life is such a big problem. I am inclined to believe that they don’t want to see me fail but sometimes I think that there may be a hint of jealousy in seeing me succeed so they don’t want me to. Who knows? Surely the quicker I bounce back the better it is.
Anyway, back to the topic of attempting, failing and then the obvious consequential humbling you have to go through…. So job rejections are a great example because you could get rejected for a bunch of jobs with the same title but then just as your hope is dwindling, a job that you applied for out of frustration could give you a call and literally hand you the job over the phone. Literally over the phone! That happened to me once. It’s only as unlikely as it is likely as long as you have been putting your name in the ring (a.k.a applying). Sure it’s not actually a 50-50 shot but why should I doubt myself when I apply for something. I’m an optimist. In this case they didn’t even want to meet me for a face to face interview. I was being paid from the moment I set foot in the door on my first ever day walking into the company. How many times does that really happen? Not often in my experience.
If you don’t get punched in the face enough (not literally obviously!) you don’t know what it is to have a happy or even a mildly content face. You just don’t! Inevitably the humbling may involve some home truths as well as a bit of emotional unloading but it’s healthier that you let that stuff go. Let it go. Whatever you need at that moment whether it’s tissues or ice cream or a hug from your mum! Take it and move on. It’s for the best minus the embarrassment at the time. You’ll get over it. We all get over it….. eventually.
I find the more grateful I am and the less selfish I am, the world gives me more. That’s enough for me to be the best that I can be because imagine if I’m hitting those heights, the rewards would make it worth the restraint and discipline.
2017 is all but in majority past the half-way mark. Irrespective of how good or bad the previous months how gone this year, my aim as it should be your aim, is to sign off the year contently and continuing a positive incline. Let’s do this!